My therapist says my OCD is severe. He and my psychiatrist find it remarkable that I have made it so far. It really is a statement about how hard I am working and about how much I have accomplished.
So, do I want to shift to the Masters? Will I enjoy engineering?
I worked in engineering, it'a a good place for an analytic mind. Or any science. Best advice I ever got is, if at all possible, do what you love, then it feeds every part of you.
ReplyDeleteIn your previous post you wrote you had a hard time recognizing obsessions from compulsions. There are some people who are pure O and have no compulsions. I am not an expert by any means but the compulsion is usually an act (physical or mental) that, when performed, relieves the anxiety that the obsession causes. For example a person could have an obsessional thought that they will hurt their husband, so they say a prayer which would be the compulsion. The unpleasant thought keeps coming back, and every time they pray until the compulsive act of praying relieves the anxiety. There are excellent books out there for self-help -Brain Lock is a really good one full of great information.
Hi Krystal,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment! I apologize that these posts are not more complete, I didn't expect anyone to actually read them.
I'm currently in my second year as a PhD student, studying for a degree in Optics. I do experimental research in basic physics, in a field I'm interested in, but I've been working on a single experiment for most of the year and I have yet to find results. There are other reasons that I'm not doing well here, and I'm considering switching to a Master's, which I could use to find a job in engineering. I'm not sure if I'll enjoy that, and I'll have to wait to take a certain class next year to find out. I think my concern is that, even if I find it interesting, I just won't be any good at it. I have a lot of trouble prioritizing, planning, and being confident in the decisions I make, so I imagine I will have to overcome those problems before I'll be able to hold an engineering job.
I'm glad you mentioned Brain Lock. I read it a number of years ago and I think I still own a copy. It was the one OCD book I found that made sense for me. Most books seem to place emphasis on making lists and rating your stress level. The very acts of prioritization and quantification cause me a lot of anxiety.
Thanks again. I will try to find my copy of Brain Lock and read through it again.
I agree that Brain Lock is very helpful. I read it years ago, too, but pulled it out and reread it when I started cognitive behavioral therapy, because my therapist uses that basic premise in his therapy. It makes sense to me too.
ReplyDeleteYou should feel proud that you have accomplished so much in dealing with OCD. You should also give yourself a pat on the back for dealing with OCD while being in a demanding graduate program. My OCD was probably at its very worst when I was in grad school. I know it's not easy!
I said this in a comment on your previous post, but I'll say it here too--so glad I found your blog!